Swords

8 deadly uses for Swords.

Swords! You gotta use em. Even the most greenhorn warrior knows which end to hold and which end to thrust. No need for fancy techniques when your life is on the line.

Toberious Antony. 5th Garrison Legionnaire

  1. Stabbing
  2. Slashing
  3. Poking
  4. Proding
  5. Flaying
  6. Murdalizing
  7. Mincing

sword-308836_1280.png

Credits:

Title: http://www.contentrow.com/tools/link-bait-title-generator

Article by: Tony Obert

Image: https://pixabay.com/en/sword-medieval-weapon-metal-308836/

Forget Magic

Why you should forget everything you learned about magic items.

Magic comes in many forms, from the Spellbook of a Wiz-lord to the miniature garden of a Planto-mancer. Sometimes it comes in the form of gold. A long debated idea is “What if Gold is Magic?” That might explain why a big Dragon’s horde tends to have an equally big Dragon. Dragons are magical creatures right? What if they feed off that?

Some spells require a monetary component (usually an expensive gemstone), so who is to say Money isn’t Magic? Magic items are created via a process of infusing magic within an item. This process takes time. Time = Money. Boom! It all makes sense now!

Written by Grindo Hobblebink: Tinkerer and Alchemist

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Credits:

Title: http://www.contentrow.com/tools/link-bait-title-generator

Article by: Tony Obert

Image: https://pixabay.com/en/treasure-chest-chest-treasure-gold-316882/

While generally kind of ridiculous, these articles and tables are geared more towards “Weird Fiction” and “Gonzo” settings. The inspiration was a mix of those weird clickbait articles that were popular for a time “20 crazy tips to lose belly fat! Number 4 will blow your mind!”. These are an RPG version of those.

8 Tips

I use to think Dungeon Delving was a Nightmare until I learned these 8 helpful tips. Number 5 will blow your mind!
The first time I went Dungeon Delving I was in the sewers underneath my house. I heard some chittering under my floor one day and the next morning my living room was cleared out. All that was left was a noticeable hole in my floor and a stiff, smelly breeze. I grabbed my uncle’s hand-axe (I inherited it from him after he died. I kept it next to my bed as a conversation starter) and a pot lid. Normally, I would have brushed it off but they took my rent money (which I cleverly hid inside my candle box).
Unlike a few of my friends (you know the kind) this was my first time delving. Because unlike them, I had a steady job as a cook. By the time they were 22 they were already experienced delvers and I didn’t take much interest in it. They were Dungeon-Punks and I was just a wanna be. Long story short, I got my rent back but not before I learned some important lessons. Mathis Glenbrook- Amateur Delver and Cook.
  1. Take it slow.
  2. TAKE IT SLOW.
  3. Don’t be afraid to get dirty and maybe a little bloody.
  4. Light is your friend.
  5. Mind-Flayers are no joke.
  6. Carry a big stick. Shove it in things.
  7. Observe everything around you as fast as you can.
  8. When in doubt run.
cellar-outlet-56155_640.jpg
Credits:
Title: http://www.contentrow.com/tools/link-bait-title-generator
Article by: Tony Obert
Image: https://pixabay.com/en/cellar-outlet-gang-dark-creepy-56155/

Alligators

8 things the media hasn’t told you about alligators.
Everyones favorite prehistoric dinosaur cousin seems to have a pretty simple characterization: eat, sleep, swim, hiss. But there are way more ways you can make alligators more interesting in your games instead of the solitary killing machines we know and love.
  1. Alligators have amazing regenerative abilities. As long as the head remains intact the body will grow back in 2d4 rounds.
  2. Thanks to a rare genetic mutation some alligators have several heads (half of which breath fire).
  3. Bi-petal variations aren’t unheard of. Sometimes they arm themselves with crude weapons.
  4. Special breeds of alligator (ones found in dense jungles typically) possess chameleon like skin. If skinned properly they can offer camouflage properties to existing armor and clothing.
  5. Did you know alligators can see perfectly in the dark? Their eyes create beams of light much like a flashlight. Legend has it, it’s highbeams are the last thing you see before you die.
  6. Some of the more ancient alligators typically sleep most of the time. Muck and vegetation tend to build up on their backs making rudimentary islands. Some settlements have even sprouted on the backs of these colossal beasts.
  7. Some of the more intelligent individuals of the species have learned the concept of trade and are usually quite eager to exchange a few shiny coins for a fresh caught meal.
  8. Wrinkled, almost dried out members exist. No matter how much water they consume or bathe in they are never quenched.

alligator-1297484_1280.png

Credits:

Title: http://www.contentrow.com/tools/link-bait-title-generator

Article by: Tony Obert

Image: https://pixabay.com/en/alligator-animal-crocodile-reptile-1297484/

Eldritch Horrors

These Eldritch horrors got really angry when someone screamed into the void. You’ll never guess what happened next.

S̩̯̟̟̲͚̦̤͔͚̗̦͖̟̱͈͚ͫ̋̐̅̓̍̊̈ͧ̅̚ȍ͔̭͚̖̦̻̼̫̱͔͉͍̃ͦ͗͆͗̊̄ͫ̏ͬͭ̊ͫ̚̚̚ͅm̯̳͓̬̼͚̞͎̩̮͍̮̰̖̺͙̬͛ͫ̓ͧͭe̪͙̬̯ͬ̊̊̆̊ͩ ̮̜̗͎̻̹̫́͐̅̓̾t̬̥̞̫̝̖̺̠̟͙̥̥̙̩̹ͧͯ̈́ͯ͒h̬̯̼̖̖̜̼̙̝͈̦̥͉̝̿͑̓̅̑̿͂̌ͅi̬̙̯͚͖̘͍̮͍ͦ̎͑ͫ̔̓̿͑̋̎ͩ͒n̝͎̠̩̞̻͐ͩ̅̀̔͂ͦ͋̿̿̍͐ͤ̊̒͂̑g̳̤̦̮̮̘̹͚͚̰͔̾̽͋̎̒̽̅ͩ͌ͨ̅̓ṣ͇͙͇̱̻̳̦̯̤̥̘̬̥̌̂͂ͪͧ̽͊ͅͅ ͎͉͍̯͈̊ͦ̒ͯ́̚s̭̟͈̻̟̳̠͚̥̞̗ͩ̇͋̑h̳̹̫̺̭̻̬̖̘̦̪͚͐ͦͨͨ̉͑̂̒͗ͫ͂ͤ̂̐̾o͇̖̦͕̻̤͓̲͎̭̠̤̻͖̻ͯ̽̐ͧ̃̌̄̐̚ͅͅu͈̩̯̖̩̣̳̤̲̪̤̪̇̂ͤ̾̉̀̇͑͗ͥl̫̩͇͇͓ͤͥ͌̅͊͋ͫ́ͣͯͨͥ̆̔̚d̦̪̞̮͓͙̱̗̠̬͚̮͔̹̪́ͫ͗̌̐ͭ̈́̽̈ͨ͛ͅ ̮̩͚̝͉̲̳̠̯̎͌̐ͫ̇ͧ̉ͥ̀̐̀ͣͅn͖̤̤̻̙̱̺̦̠̺̼͉̾̾̒̂̈̓͒ͭͨͪ̊ͥ̈̊̐ͧ̌͒e͎͎̞̯̦̰͓̟̝̦͔̘̮̙̯̬͙̣͊̑̌̀̍͋͌ͅv͎̹̺̱̺ͪ͒̈̑̊͒͛e̲͚͔̿͋ͤͫͩ̓͑̓̍ͯ́r̮͚̬͍̞̯̘͔̳̯͉͕͔̓̒̑̏̓ͩ̅ͦ͛ ̙̜̣͇̟̘̩̗̰̜̥͓̘͓̙̪ͦ̿̇̈̀̈́̏ͤͯ͋ͅḇ̩̤͍̺̘̬̮̈̾ͪ̌̆̌͑̔ͩͫ̿͂̃̋̚ͅe͎̖͈͍̰̱̰̰̟͙̮͎̙͙͒̅͗ͫ̈́͒̆ͫ ̺̱̝͕͎̯̣̥̲̭͚̼͎̭̗̙̰͋͂͒̑̑͋ͬ̈́͌̄͌̚s̹̮͔̟̤̳͒̂͊̂̓͒͂ͬ͋ͮ̓̊ͨͅe̺͎̝͉̬̦̜̱̺̜͍͕̞̹ͬͭ̓ͅẽ̻̤̳͍̜̼͈̼͎̠̯͉̮̣̭̜̗̑̊ͅn̮̪̫̱͎̤̤̙ͥ̿̽ͦ̏̋ͣ̉̔̈́̌ͩͧ̄ͬ͒̀̚.͎̝̹͚̬̟̜̰̺̽ͨͤ͆ͅ ̹̭͔̹̣͎̖̟̜̪̣̹͈̱̼̦̀͂̿ͨͩ

̈́̃̃̎̈́̈́̓̃̎͗ͩͤ̑̀ͤ

̖͇͕̬̯͚̮̟͈̦̖̬̖̺̘̪̊ͤ̐̓͌̅ͪͨ

͖̮̹̖̤̤̦͕̹̦̺̺̭̖̺͖̯ͣ͗̽̈̍ͩ̃̎ͫͅS͕̰͖͕͇͙̱̱̲̥̥̮͔̰̱͙̥͔͛ͮͦ̃ͤͦͪ̃̋̈́̚̚ͅo͚̼̺̙̮͇̥̙͎̙̥̺̙͔̙̯̿ͩ̈́̿͒m̹̺͖͈̩͖̪̰̼͔̻̙͎̰͇̪̥͙̼͑ͩͥ͑͛̋ͨ̑͋͐͐ͭe̖̟̳̙̳̺͈͗ͥ͆ͣ̔̃ͮͦ̍͗̈́͛̌̍̐ͯ̂ ̺͎̯̤̠̭͕̖̼ͤͧ͊ͣ̀͋̈́ͬ̚t̺̗̟̯̰̤̹͙̟̯̪ͦ͊̒͐ͬ̂̀ͭ̎͊ͅͅḣ̘̦̦̤̭̠̰̺̟͍̖͉̮̳̐ͧ̓̆ͦ̀̆͑ͮi̮̩͖͍̮͇̫̰̥̰̗̺͓̘̻̐̔̎͊̇̇͒ͥ̅̽͐̌̏ͅn͙̮̟̼̪̋ͩͭ̏̂̃g̺͕̖̤͚̺̫̹̈̇̇ͣ̔͑s̤̖̠̬̫̥̟̦̞̈́ͥ́̀́ͥ͋̄̎̿̂ͣ ̮͉̩̯̗͛̏̏̿͒̎̓͛ͩͮ̽ͣ̆ͨ̒ͣs̼̬̤̭̞̤̹̲̰̙̜͎͉͈̺̤̬̮ͫ͑̋̌͒͐ͤ̏̿ͯͥ̇h̺̹̬̭͙̫̖̹̙̥̻̹̲ͭ̿͛ͮ͑̃̐̍ͩ̒̒ͫͯȍ̞̖̞̜̦̮͓͍̼͔̺̳̆̅̓͛̿͑ͧͫ̈́̽̓̐̽͒ͣ̐͒u̹̺͍̠͖̟̣̯̞̖͖̱̞̝͓͈̹̩͍ͯ͑͌̾ͦl̼̯͍̯͍̠̎̓ͩ͌̒̌̄ͣͮ̃̐͂̋͋d̬̮̜̼̮̯̭̖̞̝͎͕͇̜̟̜ͪ̔̐̒̂͂̽͒ͫͤ̈̆ͧ̓̀ ̣̤͕̙͉̠̮̦̘̪͚̗͓̇̊̉̽ͩͦ͐̒ͫ̌̋̊̑ͯ̔͊̐̚ͅͅn̮̱̞̠̫̝̳̲̬̩̺̝͚ͦͦͨ͑̽ͬͧe͇̞͕̝̣̪̼̩̻̳̤̫͙̦̰͈͊ͩ̀͗̄ͣͯ̄̏͆̏͗̒̇̆̚v̹̹͉̬̝̝̰͓̝ͧͪ͊̓e̳̹̩̖ͯͣ͂̓̊́̄͆́̎ͭ̈́ͨ̔̾ř̦̹̮̤̪̩̥̠̲̳͙͓̯̖͍̠ͧ̊͑͋ͥ͂ͪ̓̅̔ͫ̾̓̋̇͂̚ͅ ̬͇̣̜͔̟̣̙̑͛͌ͮ̌̾ͫͩͥͤͦͅb̘̥͇̺̫̩͙̟̪͙̠̗͇̼̯ͣͤ̈ͫͅe̞̜̥̻͉͈̗͈͖̘̺͕̽ͪ̾͆̓ͨ͋̊̔̍͐ͪ̽ͤ͂̃ͫ ͙̣̖̩̥̹̟̳̗͕͉̫̭͓͇͑ͭͭ̚s̞̩̠̝͚̘ͥ̃ͩ̾͗̽ͬͭa͈͚̮͈͎͍͇̙̳̯̜̩̜̣͎͇̲ͦ͆̔͊͗͋͌̈́̚ͅḭ̲̯̪͖̲̱͓̖̺̼͚͐́ͭ͛͒ͦͬͮ͛ͯ̚d̲͉̯͐̀ͯͧ̋ͣ̿̓̎̈ͤͧͤ̎̚ͅ.̹͙͈̘̖̹̐̓ͦͯ͛̀͑ͬ̊ͧͪ ̺̬̩͕̖̫̪̰̫͖̗̞̍͐̎͒

͚̯̟̬͖̭͖̗̮͍͙̤ͫ͌ͮ͛ͣ̓

̜͈̤̱̩̬̭͚̪͚̣̣̳͎̫͇̙͈͚̫͔̬͇̘̬̪͈ͫ̎̂ͥ̋ͧ̏̋̓͗ͮ̐́͋̐͑ͧͣ͛̊̈ͫͪ̊ͥ̂́̄W͖͕̖͔̯̻͈̯̪̜͗̈́̋̋̄̽ͧ̇ͦ̒͌ͨͅh̳̙̖̝͈̝̳͎͔ͮ̆̽̄̒̆͋̏ͬͫẏ̺̮͕͍̗̯̮̹̱̩̯͔͉ͦ͊͒ͫ̅̏̀̒͋̅̿̐̎̌̚̚ ̲̙̜̺̳ͭͭ̋̎̄ͦ̀͗ͩ́ͦd̹͈̼͔͓̼͍̭̣̖̪̯̜͉̲̲̎ͣ̒̋̑ͯ̒ͬ̂̓̑ͬȯ̞̥̫̯̦̰̙̙̱̲̘̻͎͓̼͈͈͚ͮ̾ ̞͙̲͇̙̬̫͉̘̬͍̖̲͉̃̓̅ͮ͑́͗̑ͅw̟̞̼̹̻̼͉̟͍̹̿̓̒̍̓͒ͦ̆͐̓ͪͦ́̓ͅe̘͙͉̘̤͍͕̙̤̳͚͎̘̩̟͑̏̃̎ͦ͂ ̪̺̫̳̞͔̭̰̥̗̦ͤ͛̅͗́ͩͧͦ͆̀̚i̹̦̬͕̭̩̠͖̱̖̳̠͓͍ͫͧ̓͋̈́ͬͣ̇͌ͨ͋̈͗͗ͅṇ̞̣̜̎̊̈͒s̙̩̬̝̟̦̹̞̯ͬͥͦ̎͗i̙̯̝͇̣͍͎̫̭͍̟̼͍͚͕͓̊̎̍͋͂̑͒̆͋ͬs̬̗̲̭͈̰͉͓̀̌͗͛ͣ̄̓̉ͅt̩͔͍̯͎̰̹̘̓́̓̑͑̊̒̔̍ ̣̼͇̠̩͈̮͎̜̞̦̮͉͍͓̗ͥ̓͒ͭ̑̍ͧͬͯ͂͗ͥ͂̆́͊̅ͅo̮̱̫͙̞̝̠̺̤͋͊ͣͮ̒̾͐͑̍́n̩̮̗̤͇̫̘͙̠͓͓͗͊ͧ̎̽̆́͒ͮ̄͛ͅ ̩̙̻̪̩͕̗̣ͩ̓̂̆̎̑̆̇̑d̯͉̮̩̰̳͖͉̣͉̮̻̣̞ͩͩ̒̓̅̄͌̃ͦͥ͂͐̑̓̚ͅͅė̻̪̬̺̜͔͉͇̟̺̍̀ͭ̇͛͒͊̉̑̑͗̐ͅl̩̹̹͈͇̞̠̻͎̾̍ͪ̓̈́̽ͅv͔̥̱̳͈̪͈͍̩̠̙̉ͦ͒ͭͭͫͥ͌̈̇̚ͅi̟̱͔̲̳͓̜̦͙͎͙͖̠̪̟̾ͩͦ̆ͣͩ͑ͬͅn͕̖̦̞̙̰͖͓̻͈̱͚̄ͤͪ̂̏͗ͤ̄ͧ͌̐͑g̼̪̗̝͈͍͔̦̲͈̼̟̥ͭ̓̾̍ͣ̽ͥͬ̇ͩ̄̾ ̭͓̘̹͎͍͓͍͖̻͚̬̗̿̿ͨ͗̓̄̈́̐ͯ͑w̫͔̝͓͖̻ͪ̔͌͌͛̑ͪ͛͑͐ͨh̹̪͎͕̽̊̒̾ͣͨ͑́ͮͤ͋ͫ̀̚e̟͚͈̠̞̗̒̏͊͆̓̏̔̈̌̌̈́̍͌͌͋͐̚r̹̘͇̦͎̲͈̲̪̦̳͉͉̱͚̝͇͈͒ͬͮ̔ͭͤ͌̉̓ͮ̇ͯ̃ẻ͉͔̺̰̹̳͇̣̭͚̣͗̐̍͒̐̊̈́ ̩̟͖̈͌̑ͯ̎͌ͅw̦̤̖̳̥̻̤͉̪̣̮̤̰̽̆́e͇͚̫͚̱̼͔͚̭̟̤͖̰͚͓̱͙̼ͦ͂͌̃́̋͂̈̈͑̾̒͒ ̼̦͚̭̠͍͚͈̤̻̦̟̭̅ͧͮ̄̉ͬ̇̈̀̈́̌̆̍̈́ͧ̎̿͛s̝̘̮̝͖̼͒̿ͧ̉͒̚h̖͙̜̲̪̭̺͖ͣ̐̄͋̍͛o̗̪̞̫̲̣̺͓̮̤̫̳̥̭ͬ̓̂ͥ͒̊͛̄ͫͤ́̌̍̂̋͒ͥ̚ṳ̦͔̖͈̦̥̹͚̿̊̿͋ͤ͛̍͊͑̃̒ͬ̆ͩ̓̇̍̐̚ͅl̞̖͈͈̝̱̺̟͕͐͋̐̚d͇͖͇̳̠͇͍͖͉̦̱͙̫̃ͩ̓ͤ͛ͅ ̖͎͓̰͍͉̮͍͓̗̞͙̥͓̝̱͙̽̓ͫͤͯn̩͎̮͈͉͓̠̥̗̘̯̜͛̀͐̎̄̈́͐͒̓ͬ̈́͛ͯͭ̓̓ͪo̱̺͔̘̮̒̓̃̇͐ͪ̔̏̐ͧ̂̄t͍̬̗̥̜͖̰̫͙ͥ͛̃̐̄̏͌ͪ̌ͧ͆͒̇ ͇̯̱̤̳̲͕̬̝ͨ̽̏͊ͩͫ̓̔̌͊ͪͤͯ͛ͭͅǧ̻̻̟͕̞̣̱̼̳̲͖̥̯̯̝̥ͮͬͦ̀͌͋̓̅ͯ̽̈́ͣͣͮ͗͒̚o̤͙̝̥̙͕̯̯̜̫͙̍ͪ̀͋ͫͮ̒̑̃̓ͫ̂ͨ?̺̙̪̬̫͙͇̗̋̃̎͌ͥ̒̊̽̑̀̈͛̈́ ̦̟͙͎̗̰̠̝̯̳̟͊͋̋̓̓̿

̟̼̘̗̰̘ͯ͑͗̌̍̒̆ͭ́ͭ̓͊ͤͨ

  1. Vos has an infinite number of arms underneath their hard millipede like carapace. Their face is an amorphous smoke cloud constantly shifting and growing and shrinking. When summoned they typically are accompanied by swarms of insects and a distinct smell of lavender.
  2. Great Harlot shows herself only in mirrors. She appears tall, fat, and oozing a fleshy substance from her pores. Her voice is dulcet and demure capable of inspiring obedience from anyone who listens to her voice.
  3. Hum-hum-hum Rip-tip-tip slips and sips into the pips and snips of mitts and gits. He bounds and pounds with rounds and mounds. Hum-hum-hum Rip-tip-tip.
  4. Armbo takes and takes. But never gives back. When he is summoned he takes a seemingly useless item that actually has life altering value. No one has ever seen him but they always know when he came.

lost-places-1698999_640.jpg

Credits:

Title: http://www.contentrow.com/tools/link-bait-title-generator

Article by: Tony Obert

Image: https://cdn.pixabay.com/photo/2016/09/27/18/39/lost-places-1698999_640.jpg